If you find yourself constantly surrounded by stupid people and perpetually peeved, here are five possible reasons to consider, along with some self-help tips to jump start your own personal transformation out of it.
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Do annoying people seem to circle you like vultures, picking away at your very last nerve? Making you so angry that you want to punch something—especially them?
Well, I know how that feels, and if you’ve read my road rage section in Living the Life You Love, you know–at least a little–of how my internal anger showed up in my external world. It was not a pretty picture.
During that time, my path seemed littered with stupid and selfish people who were just plain mean and unfair to me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but idiots came out of the woodwork to pick on me–and I got mad about it. I had to! I wasn’t the problem–they were! And if they’d just straighten up and act right then I would be fine.
That wasn’t the case, of course–I was a long way from being “fine”–but I couldn’t see it. It took me a lot of years to become willing to admit that I had any control over why I was so angry–or that it had anything at all to do with me.
You don’t have stay perpetually peeved, and the first place to start is figuring out why you are. If you frequently find yourself seriously annoyed by idiots, here are five reasons why people may push your buttons that you might want to consider:
- Mirror: Yes, it’s you. The characteristic is an unacknowledged part of yourself that you don’t like, and seeing it in others is the first step of awareness. It may not be a perfect reflection, but if it really bugs you, there’s a reason. Figure it out and clear it out in yourself so you don’t have to keep noticing it others—and being annoyed.
- Haven’t Let It Go Yet: You may be aware—and consciously working on it—but you haven’t been able to fully let it go because it represents a familiarity or a family tie. If you let go of the pattern or characteristic, it may feel like you’re letting go of the people connected to it. Let it go anyway. The people who need to be in your life will be.
- You Wish You Could: As much as you might not like to admit it, you may secretly wish you could be more like those who annoy you. For example, if “all about me” people are pushing your buttons, they may be showing you how you aren’t taking care of your own needs. Find out what’s really at the bottom of your anger and you’ll know what to do about it.
- Something’s Wrong Somewhere: Your internal and external worlds reflect each other. So, if you’re continually being treated badly by clerks, having road rage fits, feeling taken advantage of and the like, it’s because things are not okay in your world no matter how much you may argue otherwise. Ranting and raving about others doesn’t solve anything. Figure out what’s really wrong and fix it.
- Bad Apples: Knowing when it’s you and when it isn’t is important. Sometimes, people are just being themselves and it isn’t a pretty picture. However, if you’re steaming about it, it’s still about you in some way, so grow a spine and stop putting up with things you don’t have to.
We have far more power over our lives than we often want to admit. It can seem easier to blame everyone else for our unhappiness rather than face the truth and have to do something about it, but it’s not. There’s a huge relief in finally facing what you’ve spent years trying to avoid, and, clearing out what’s been making you miserable is the only way to ever really be happy.
If you don’t know what the problem is, you can’t fix it. So, start with the stupid people in your life and let them show you a few things you need to know.
Live your joy!
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Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, transformational speaker, tough love media expert and five-time award-winning author of Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation, which received a Kirkus Reviews’ starred review and is a critics’ pick. Visit www.ToughLoveTalk.com for more articles and a list of upcoming events.
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NOTE: This Saturday, November 10, at 1 pm at Books-A-Million, Cornerstone Mall, Hot Springs, AR, will be my last public event for the year. I’ll be giving a talk on How to Avoid Holiday Family Drama and will be signing copies of Living the Life You Love. If you’re in the area and want a personalized and autographed copy, now is the time. Hope to see you there!
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PHOTO BY: Herman Brinkman